Describe It to Me

Slept like a baby after watching the training video my instructor, Hal, had given me the night before. Coffee smelled great. Rose had made it before I was up. The houseboat has a kitchen just like at home and all the conveniences. Two bathrooms are a great touch with six people; three of us, girls.

8 a.m. and I see this figure striding down the dock towards our houseboat. It’s our instructor (my instructor really). Boy, is he ever tan. He had met everyone last night when we brought on our food and supplies, so we were ready to start. He explained everything I will need to know about houseboating. Besides the ship to shore radio there was all the marine instrumentation. He gave me cell numbers, and told me I could call if I needed anything or had a problem. I felt a lot better then.

It was time. We were taking the boat out for a “shakedown” cruise so that I could get used to driving and learn the other things I would need to know. Hal untied us. Harbor personnel pushed us away from the dock. I put MY BOAT in gear and eased out of the marina observing the slow “no wake”.

Signs. Now I was in the Mississippi. WOW! We all learned to read channel markers and learned the rules, there aren’t that many, as we proceeded downriver to learn how to beach the boat and anchor it properly. Hal had me pick up the speed (open the throttle more) and he appeared totally unconcerned with his novice pilot handling the boat.

I learned what wing dams were, to stay in the channel, and to check for those pesky wing dams before I turned in to beach. Hal showed me how to spot them by the ripples in the water, but we also have river charts that show everything about the river. I was becoming calmer, but not cocky. Before leaving home Charlie, my husband, and I had flipped to see who would be “Chief Boat Driver.” I won. Charlie took it good-naturedly, but I’ll make sure he knows how to handle the boat too. I’m no fool.

Hal pointed to our right to a sandy beach. I checked the mirror, looked out both sides, and turned toward the beach. Hal would show us how to beach the boat. Then we would back off so we could do it. Hal said that slow and calculated landings are the best. He eased the boat onto the sand. Then we backed off so that Charlie and I could practice the beaching. We got the hang of it quickly. Then came the hard part for the guys.

Hal opened a trap door on the front deck and took out a shovel. Pete told Rose now he knew why she brought him along. Hal showed the men how to dig in the beach anchors, and how to set the stern anchors to keep both us and the boat safe overnight.

We got everything back on the boat. I backed off the beach and turned MY BOAT into the channel. Heading up river we went over again the procedure for “locking through” the dams. It wasn’t complicated. Hal smiled. “O.K., take me home Captain.” Wow!

It was slower going back up river. I was sure I could handle MY BOAT, but I wasn’t going to get cocky. Hal seemed pleased with my performance. He told Charlie that he liked cautious boat drivers. Cautious boat drivers don’t get into trouble. Charlie even seemed impressed with my new skills.

A boat has no brakes. It takes the big commercial barges over a mile to stop on the river. A very good reason to give them a wide berth. Hal assured Charlie that as long as we thought ahead, planned, and took it easy we would not have any problems. In the unlikely event that we needed advice we could call Hal. We had the ship to shore radio. I certainly wasn’t all alone. Besides, I had Charlie.

Hal stood on the side as I judged the current and the breeze and edged toward the dock. Charlie was behind me with his hands on my waist letting me know that I could do this. Using forward and reverse was already becoming second nature to me. Waiting hands grabbed our lines and tied us up. We would top off our water and be on our way. I glanced at my watch. My gosh! It was only 9:30 a.m. I still had the whole day to drive MY BOAT.

Hal waved and told us to have a great trip as we pulled away from what was now our home port and headed back to the river. After reaching the main channel I turned upriver which would take us past downtown La Crosse, under the blue interstate bridge, and north to adventure!

There it was. U. S. Lock & Dam #7. Dresbach, Minnesota, my first dam. Passage would take us into the next pool. The river between dams are called, “pools.” Traffic was light, and we entered the lock with several other small boats. I called for “all hands on deck.” We held on to ropes as lock workers scurried about. The gates closed behind us and the water rose. In no time it seemed the gates in front of us opened. We let the ropes drop, waved at the lock workers, and sailed again into the main channel of the Mississippi.

We stayed in that pool for the rest of the afternoon checking out the boats, the people, waving at everyone, and enjoying the role of rubbernecking tourists. We set up a buffet on the front deck and everyone ate as they got hungry. Bill was always hungry. Nothing new there. Everyone took a turn driving MY BOAT with Charlie or me close at hand. What a marvelous day.

As the sun was sinking on the horizon, I took us through U.S. Lock & Dam #6, Trempealeau, Wisconsin. I made a hard right coming out of the lock, and was at Trempealeau Marina where we were docking for the night. A hot shower, new clothes, and we were ready to head up the hill to the restored Trempealeau Hotel. I couldn’t help but think walking up the old streets, that Mark Twain had probably walked up this very same hill. The music drifted down to us. I couldn’t wait to enjoy this evening.

I smelled coffee. Rose was up first again. Charlie was curled up like a little boy. He’s so cute when he’s sleeping. Our first night on the boat I thought the bedroom would be cramped when I looked in from the passageway, but it was only that there wasn’t an inch of wasted space. Three women on the boat and we had enough closet space. Will wonders never cease.

Charlie took us out of port. We waved to the people on the dock and once again headed upriver. This time toward Winona, MN. We were hoping to see some bald eagles.

Today we were beaching for lunch. The boys were anxious to try out the water slide as well as the barbecue on the front deck.

The scenery just kept getting better, if that’s possible. When the boys could wait no longer, I found a sandy beach, there’s no shortage of them, and headed in. They checked the water off the stern. It dropped off quickly and would be plenty deep to use the water slide.

Charlie, Pete, and Bill fired up the grill. Barb says that we have to let them do “guy” things. The three of us went to change from shorts to swimsuits.

We returned to whistles and catcalls. I had a new suit that Charlie had never seen. From the look on his face it was worth every penny I paid for it. We had a great lunch, and just enjoyed being together. It was my turn for dishes. I washed and Charlie dried. We hadn’t done that together since we got our first little apartment. It was nice. Maybe I’ll take to wearing this swimsuit around the house when we get back home. Can’t hurt.

Pete ordered everyone to the upper deck. We all trooped up the stern ladder like good little boys and girls, even if none of us will ever see thirty again.

It was glorious. I just kept turning around. I felt that I could see forever. We moved Barb & Bill’s kayak from where it had been stowed by the water slide to the other side of the deck. This evening they would venture out on one of their nature watching safaris.

The waterslide was pretty tame from the ground, but up here I wasn’t so sure. Pete started the pump that sends water over the slide. Pete went first and let out a whoop as he hit the water. He urged me on. I sat on the slide. Charlie sat behind me, put his arms around my waist, and asked if I was ready. Charlie pushed, I yelled, and we hit the water. I came up, saw Charlie, and we swam the few feet to the boarding ladder. A few more times were enough for me, but the boys couldn’t seem to get enough.

Rose, who is a dermatologist, came up loaded down with sunscreen and floppy hats. We spent the rest of the afternoon watching our men play like little boys.

Everyone was starving. Barb & Bill wanted to start exploring during the early evening light so we had steaks, baked potato, and salad before seeing Barb & Bill off on their sightseeing excursion into the back channels of the river.

The four of us played cards and spent a pleasant evening awaiting the return of our friends. At dark we heard them beach the kayak next to the boat. They would leave again early in the morning before we set off downriver on our last day. We should have booked a longer trip, but a law practice won’t run itself.

Our last day on the river. I rose alone early to watch the sunrise from the upper deck. Barb & Bill had already left. They would return to our first beach location at noon. We would meet there. Then we would start the trip back. It would be time for me to take MY BOAT home.

We had brought our phone in case of an emergency or a problem at the office. There had been neither. I didn’t want to go back to the office. I called Mom. I always call Mom when I need bucking up. She wasn’t surprised that I was piloting a 52 foot houseboat on the Mississippi. I was always doing things that most people didn’t think a little girl should be doing. After all, I was the first girl in our local Little League.

Mom told me to stop being a “silly goose.” Charlie and I would be back. Everything must end sometime. There are times when my Mother is just too sensible. I don’t want to take MY BOAT back.

After talking with Mom I went down and went inside by Rose. Rose asked me to do everyone a favor and not make coffee anymore. It wasn’t that bad. She was that kind of a perfectionist in college too. Charlie always has been better in the kitchen than me. This was not starting out to be a good day.

Pete and Charlie got the anchors stowed. I backed out to start my last day as a riverboat captain. It’s faster going down river. I cut back the throttle, but we were still moving too quickly toward the end of our trip. All too soon we reached our first beach anchorage. Barb & Bill weren’t there yet, but they would be along soon.

Charlie and I went to the upper deck. I wanted to look at my river valley. Charlie told me that Bill had kept him up half the night talking about the wildlife he and Barb had seen. Since spring and fall are the best time to observe wildlife on “The Mississippi Flyway,” he and Barb were coming back in September.

Charlie had told him that we would arrange our schedule and come too. Charlie was anxious to see the fall colors along the river. We were cruising in the Hiawatha Valley which rivals New England for Autumn beauty. He had already talked to my Dad. Dad & Mom were coming too. My Mother knew that when I called her, but she didn’t say a word. That’s alright. We’re coming back.